Live louder than you sp(e)ak.
So a few weeks ago, I was preaching at (e)pic, our young adults group, and talking about Jonah. I spoke about reconciliation. What does this term mean? A lot of people skip over it conveniently because it is an uncomfortable subject. It means restoring balance or harmony. That was John the Baptists chief message "REPENT for the kingdom of heaven is near" (Matthew 3:2). I think a lot of people look at this message and think that by saying "I am sorry" it fixes everything. No, not exactly. It means that you say I am sorry and try your best to restore harmony in your relationship with God. The only way to do that is Jesus Christ. You know it is interesting that many people use the story of Jesus condemning the woman caught in adultery as a sign that Jesus was gracious. But they forget the second part of that, after the pharisees had gone. Jesus looks at her and says "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?"
"No one, sir," she said.
"Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin." (John 8:10,11)
Go and leave your life of sin. Go stop doing what you are doing to wreck your relationship with God and man.
Fast forward to today. Everyone, even pastors, priests, bishops, rabbis, everyone sins. We all do things that wreck our relationship with God and others. Some of us are so cracked and frail, we don't want anything or anyone to do or say anything that might make our illusion of power and control to fade. Our relationships seem to always be on eggshells, even with our best friends. Marriages no longer have the strength they once had, fathers find it easy to abandon children, Children find it easy to malign their parents. Everyone demands respect but few give it.
The world is full of problems, not the least of which is the concept of people wronging other people. With the people we meet, we form a connection from the word go. The connection is weak if the person is just a casual acquaintance, but much stronger in the event that the person is a friend, spouse, family, parent. This connection is broken when something happens that is perceived as a wrong. The worst part is that many people used to think that the closer the friend, the more easily one could "get over" the problems. But I can tell you from experience, it hurts much worse when a friend does something that you perceive as wrong. You feel betrayed, hurt, maligned, misrepresented in their mind, and you want desperately to go and talk to that person and tell them their wrong. Yet, because of the friendship, you don't know how quite to approach the situation. Even close friends find it hard to open up and share 100% of everything for fear of rejection.
This is where the Devil gets his meat hooks into us. The "limbo" between hurt and friendship. The endless games of "he-said, she-said" run desperately through your mind, begging you to stop and analyze every second. Then you get so caught up in re-living the condemnation, that you forget there is no one left who condemns you. You are trapped in a world of "What-if's" and "Why God? why me's?" The Devil has you right where he wants you, in his field, playing by his rules, living a powerless, ineffective Christian life. Telling you that you don't want to go and reconcile the relationship because they will laugh, or worse, they really do hate you. How? How do we go from being on this realm of impotence to being secure in Christ alone?
It starts with a simple, yet counter-intuitive step. Go and be reconciled.
2 Corinthians 5:20-21
[We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reconciled to God.
God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. ]
Be reconciled to God. But the journey is far from over. That part is an obvious step. It is the next part that is counter-intuitive. Once you have come out of the pit of hurt and despair, with regards to your relationships, go back in and try to reconcile with others.
Yes, it hurts to talk to someone you have been secretly hating for years. Yes, it is not fun to go and tell someone you have been avoiding that you are really hurting. It is not fun because it makes us even more vulnerable. It means that we have to tell someone the truth about how they actually hurt us, and we have to be accountable to them instead of running away.
I have done this too. A situation happened to me where a colleague who had worked with me for months left me in a lurch. I felt hurt, betrayed, and allowed bitterness to creep in. I began to bad mouth that person to myself and get angry, viewing every action the person did through the lenses of hurt I had put on myself. Then, after hearing myself preach reconciliation, and having a pastor encourage us to seek it out, I took the vital and tough step to ask forgiveness for allowing the bitterness, and my false perceptions to taint our friendship. I talked to that person openly and 100% truthfully. The conversation ended opposite from every possible ending I had thought up. Not only that, I got home from this meeting and felt like God had revealed and allowed me to fully accept some concepts.
After taking taking the first step, I realized there are still more people who need to hear and I have not finished being reconciled to others. In this day and age we have to be about our father's business, seek reconciliation.
By doing that, you will not win fame, you will not win money, or power, but you will win stronger and more fulfilled relationships. You will encounter a freedom in your life like you have never experienced before and a joy that is beyond expression. Your worship will explode into dance and song, your love for God will drive you to LIVE the gospel rather than preaching it.
I challenge you friends, live this message with 1 person. Go find someone you have been avoiding and tell them you have been holding a grudge, reconcile, and see what God does in your life as well as theirs.
"No one, sir," she said.
"Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin." (John 8:10,11)
Go and leave your life of sin. Go stop doing what you are doing to wreck your relationship with God and man.
Fast forward to today. Everyone, even pastors, priests, bishops, rabbis, everyone sins. We all do things that wreck our relationship with God and others. Some of us are so cracked and frail, we don't want anything or anyone to do or say anything that might make our illusion of power and control to fade. Our relationships seem to always be on eggshells, even with our best friends. Marriages no longer have the strength they once had, fathers find it easy to abandon children, Children find it easy to malign their parents. Everyone demands respect but few give it.
The world is full of problems, not the least of which is the concept of people wronging other people. With the people we meet, we form a connection from the word go. The connection is weak if the person is just a casual acquaintance, but much stronger in the event that the person is a friend, spouse, family, parent. This connection is broken when something happens that is perceived as a wrong. The worst part is that many people used to think that the closer the friend, the more easily one could "get over" the problems. But I can tell you from experience, it hurts much worse when a friend does something that you perceive as wrong. You feel betrayed, hurt, maligned, misrepresented in their mind, and you want desperately to go and talk to that person and tell them their wrong. Yet, because of the friendship, you don't know how quite to approach the situation. Even close friends find it hard to open up and share 100% of everything for fear of rejection.
This is where the Devil gets his meat hooks into us. The "limbo" between hurt and friendship. The endless games of "he-said, she-said" run desperately through your mind, begging you to stop and analyze every second. Then you get so caught up in re-living the condemnation, that you forget there is no one left who condemns you. You are trapped in a world of "What-if's" and "Why God? why me's?" The Devil has you right where he wants you, in his field, playing by his rules, living a powerless, ineffective Christian life. Telling you that you don't want to go and reconcile the relationship because they will laugh, or worse, they really do hate you. How? How do we go from being on this realm of impotence to being secure in Christ alone?
It starts with a simple, yet counter-intuitive step. Go and be reconciled.
2 Corinthians 5:20-21
[We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reconciled to God.
God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. ]
Be reconciled to God. But the journey is far from over. That part is an obvious step. It is the next part that is counter-intuitive. Once you have come out of the pit of hurt and despair, with regards to your relationships, go back in and try to reconcile with others.
Yes, it hurts to talk to someone you have been secretly hating for years. Yes, it is not fun to go and tell someone you have been avoiding that you are really hurting. It is not fun because it makes us even more vulnerable. It means that we have to tell someone the truth about how they actually hurt us, and we have to be accountable to them instead of running away.
I have done this too. A situation happened to me where a colleague who had worked with me for months left me in a lurch. I felt hurt, betrayed, and allowed bitterness to creep in. I began to bad mouth that person to myself and get angry, viewing every action the person did through the lenses of hurt I had put on myself. Then, after hearing myself preach reconciliation, and having a pastor encourage us to seek it out, I took the vital and tough step to ask forgiveness for allowing the bitterness, and my false perceptions to taint our friendship. I talked to that person openly and 100% truthfully. The conversation ended opposite from every possible ending I had thought up. Not only that, I got home from this meeting and felt like God had revealed and allowed me to fully accept some concepts.
After taking taking the first step, I realized there are still more people who need to hear and I have not finished being reconciled to others. In this day and age we have to be about our father's business, seek reconciliation.
By doing that, you will not win fame, you will not win money, or power, but you will win stronger and more fulfilled relationships. You will encounter a freedom in your life like you have never experienced before and a joy that is beyond expression. Your worship will explode into dance and song, your love for God will drive you to LIVE the gospel rather than preaching it.
I challenge you friends, live this message with 1 person. Go find someone you have been avoiding and tell them you have been holding a grudge, reconcile, and see what God does in your life as well as theirs.
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