Psalm 52:12

Restore unto me the joy of your salvation. Restore unto me the joy of your salvation... This phrase somehow echoed a thousand times last night as feelings of betrayal, frustration, discontent swept over me. Somehow, these feelings have made their home in me the last few months. Without my knowledge, without my permission, just coming in making my stomach churn and my head reel. They began to leach away from me all the joy, all the hope, and all the positive pieces that were so evident. As I began to think more and more, I realized two things... 1. Christ felt this way....Why should I expect not to?
2. My life was slowly being taken away from me by these thoughts and emotions that were there.

Last night, on the way home from disappointment, from feeling maligned, my wife reminded me of some things. "You don't need approval from anyone but God, work for him alone." I told her that I wanted to, but somehow, that didn't help me cope with the emotions.
As I did what I knew best, drop to my knees and pray. I prayed and prayed and in the end God reminded me that the only way to combat negative emotions is with Positive. Joy! God quickened my heart to the scripture "Restore to me the joy of your salvation." I had heard it before. I began to recite it, feeling silly at first, but the more and more I recited it, the more I started to laugh, and the weight began to come off. Like stepping into a shower when you are full of grime. God began to clean me up. As I laughed and tears of pure joy filled my eyes, God began to tell me that I needed to continue to wait. That God was pruning me so I would grow and to be patient. After laughing for about 10 more minutes, I felt totally clean emotionally, totally empty of the GUNK that was leaching my life away. God is faithful, even when we are not. Remember the Joy of your salvation!

Comments

  1. BetsyApril 20, 2010 at 1:06 PM

    It took some super "himilating" things for me to get to the place where what people said to and about me REALLY and truly did not bother me. I don't know why it took something like that for me to realize that people will always say things, have their opinions and if it's not TRUE, it shouldn't bother me. But that's a hard one to let go of. I think you will get to that place and realize that you don't care what they say. And not in a prideful, haughty way, but in an "I know who I am in Christ" kind of way. It's a peaceful feeling...and you won't have to remind yourself day after day. Love you.

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